**** The Light of my Soul ****
Well here I Am again, 4:15 AM (fur-40 time), wondering why (again) She has me up so early. Certainly is very peaceful and quite. (as I turn on CNN for background chatter....... think I had better ask Santa for a CD player for my room ...... some beautiful Christmas music would be more appropriate)

"Time to give credit to where credit is due, little One" She says. ..... Man!!!! ..........Do I ever Love myself! She is sooooo beautiful!

As I Am sure most have noticed, often when I write I seem to be talking to mySelf. Actually when I Am not writing I Am constantly talking to my Self. Why, one might say? ... (I heard you) Well, because it is fun! And I guess probably there is a little more to it. So here I go. (Didn't you Know!)

When not writing I speak To my father, the Beloved Spirit That I Am. And occasionally
He allows a trickle of Light to enter my mind.

"NOT!!......" She says "HE is constantly flooding your total Being with Love and Light"

(I really do love this) .... now this is my story and I will tell it the way I want to. Gotta stand up to those Ladies once in a while. Do love a challenge, I do.

If memory serves me right, it was about six years ago when during a guided meditation I met my Higher Self. I had occasional glimpses before, but because this meditation was specifically directing me to connect with that Presence, it was much more intense.

I was walking along a fairly wide path, not far from a beautiful mountain lake, Brothers Coyote and Cougar on either side and Brother Owl upon my shoulder. That scene is still so clear in my minds eye. A gentle sparkling mist weaving a mystical web as Grandfather Sun wandered through the trees. Mother Earth showing me that she was totally Alive. There were all sorts of little critters, playing tag I Am sure. Winged little friends dancing and singing through the trees. Grandfather Wind smiling, taking the form of a gentle breeze. Rainbows of color the flora and fauna were. The least I might say is that it was a glorious sight. Peace, Love and Light rained Supreme. And I knew there was someone special to meet upon this path of life.

Peace, peace, peace and joy did abound as a short distance ahead, around a bend in the path, did come the most beautiful Lady that I ever had seen. Golden hair, radiant blue eyes, a long flowing dress of crystal white. She didn't seem to be walking, rather she floated along, dancing with such a marvelous Grace. Wow, I was not just falling in love.
I was with Love. Radiant pure Love.

Hand in hand we walked for awhile, upon this path so alive. And I was alive, so alive. I felt complete, I felt whole just to be in the presence of this beautiful Soul. I Am sure that we talked yet I cannot remember that which was said. Nor was it until years later that I again heard her voice. That beautiful voice of the silence. More than touch my heart, She did. She quickened my mind. For the next two weeks, all I could think about was that my Higher self was feminine!

Now if you don't think that was a major blow to the male ego, I don't know what would be. But it was alright, in fact quite a blessing. The first time in my life that I felt whole, I felt balanced. And I guess that this is the reason to arise so early this morn. To remember the peace and the feeling of One. To share, to give thanks and yes to give credit,
where credit is due.

"Thank you, Stephen" ......... I knew you would say that.

I truly believe that it shall be the Feminine aspect of Being that shall heal our world. That it is time for the male to come into his true power. To openly cry and express his emotion. Not to fear that he might hug or express his love for another male friend and be thought of as less than a man. It is also time for woman to come into her own, take a stand, admit openly that all this while she has been the true power behind the throne.

I shudder when I think of what man has done in the name of God and at the same time I marvel at what he has accomplished because of his love for a woman. And to think that woman has for so many years allowed the misconception that she is second nature so that her man might become the best, he might be.

"Okay, big guy, get to the chase" ..........Always there She Is. (Big Guy?? ....things are looking up)

Balance Is the key, someone once said to me. ("You can bet your booties...I know" She says) Now I KNOW that I Am in a male body, that my Spirit's Presence feels masculine, yet there IS a very beautiful aspect of Him that is Feminine and I relate this to my Soul. Does a woman feel similarly? Guess it doesn't really matter but would be nice to know. When I feel at my best, happiest and content, it is usually due to my honouring that I Am a Spiritual Being. At the same time realizing that I Am the Alpha of a greater Being. That there is a Spiritual Essence which is the Omega of my being. And that she too is on a journey to the Divine. That she is experiencing life in order to honour her masculine side,
to come into her true power.

As I become more aware that I Am a Whole Being, balancing my ego with my better half ("thank you"), I flow in and with the Universal stream of Love. "The Spirit of Love in whose presence we derive balance, harmony and joy. In whose presence we move and have our being. .........did you know it was I that gave you that?"

Yes Beloved of my Heart, I did.

"Now, Stephen, aren't you glad I awoke you so early" ........sure but what am I going to do until breakfast?.........hey good lookin....... wanna get lucky?.....(chuckle/cuff) "Just be thankful that I Am allowing you to become more aware of the God/Goddess That I Am.........maybe later." I can wait because I Am sooooo Beautiful!

Now Ladies you of course realize that this is only One Man's Opinion.

Me thinks that all the beautiful Ladies in my life are out to get me. What a life without a wife..... of course what a life it was with one. (actually two)

Tis a Grand day when started with this feeling in my Heart so again I might say,

From the Heart of Eternal Love

I Am

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